Religious convictions, my ass.

How is it possible that people need to be reminded to be human and compassionate, and, well, professional and ethical, by a fucking court decision?

It's absofuckinglutely shameful.

Milspouse lost weekend, perhaps??

Hey, aren't there like three of you readers in close proximity to each other now, over there in flyover country?

How cool!

The fundamental principle of the abyss pervades the internal structure of the private.

Twisty is one of my favorite reads. She called me out in front of the class once, and I still disagree with her on that issue - if I had a job right now, I would sure as hell pay someone to clean my house, as I have in the past - but I love the way she writes and she's usually right. (I'm sure she'd be relieved to know I think so.) Today she has put up a particularly wonderful post, which you should read, because it is wonderful. For instance:

See, I was going to tie this all together with a big tirade on the bogus notion of health as a moral issue — how people are always yelling at you to quit smoking or quit eating or quit procrastinating when you should be packing or quit doing anything the doing of which is considered a moral failure, ostensibly out of their concern for your health, but in reality because “health,” in accordance with some convoluted Christian doctrine embedded in the cultural subconscious, has become a kind of yardstick by which conformity within the social order is measured, and how shaming people who are insufficiently obsessed with their cholesterol puts these concern trolls in a morally superior position and creates an underclass of “unhealthies” who have brought it on themselves through their blatant ingestion of Cheetos — but I’m too exhausted from all the delicious smoking.

Smoking is an especially tricky issue, of course, because people get to be rude to smokers not only because they are potentially ruining their own health, but because passive smoking can be so dangerous. Full disclosure: I smoked in college/grad school, enthusiastically, and again - twice - for a few months each after a couple of particularly bad breakups the year I turned 30 (fun!) - for a total of about 6 years of my life. I'm 40 now, and I don't and won't smoke.

It's a terrible habit, and I am glad I don't have it, but the lengths to which people - particularly here in California - will go to separate themselves, with a self-righteous huff, from the hapless smokers who have at this point been eliminated from the public sphere other than in shameful, designated outdoor areas at least 20 feet from the entrance to a building, is a bit ridiculous. Live and let live, I say, and hell, here in SoCal the air quality isn't anything to get excited about to begin with, so why not glare at people who drive cars, or own barbecues, or invest in polluting industries? And to the people who walk the planet existing on HFCS and GM crop containing, fatty, hormone-and-antibiotic-filled foods, barrels of soda pop and who drink Bud Light or some other swill not even worth the bother your liver will go through to process it - a little cigarette smoke wafting by your nose on your way into a building isn't really that big a deal, in the scheme of things. Kraft, McDonald's, Coors, Frito-Lay and Nintendo are way more likely to damage your health than some stranger's occasional Virginia Slims - and you have control over what you eat and drink, so you win!! Now leave the smokers alone. And hell, if you are one of those specimens that is completely healthy, and you have a wonderful organic diet and exercise every day, your body should be able to handle the strain of the occasional whiff of tobacco. (And see how I am falling into the same pattern that Twisty describes above?? It's fascinating.)

Anyway, I have to admit, it is nice to go out to a club to see a band and not come home and have to shower before bed, and I was good and tired of putting up with smokers all day, every day, when I owned the restaurant in Virginia, where it is still possible to smoke in front of people. But this isn't worth being an ass over. People smoke, smoking is fun, the end.

P.S. J hates, hates, hates smoking - sorry, honey, this isn't aimed at you. You've lightened up a good bit ;-)

This is what it's like inside my brain

via Superbomba's photostream - it's all brilliant

If you think every snide remark about parenthood/children is about your kid or your parenting skills, then don't read this.

A longtime friend of mine who is lucky enough to call Scotland home permanently (Maude knows I tried) sent me a Kimbaland-style rant about, well, motherhood. As you all well know, I do not have children and will not be having any - this friend has the same plan.

It was a timely addition to my inbox, because last night I tried in vain to put up a post about the horrid advertisements we've been pummelled with by Johnson and Johnson during the Olympics - you know, the ones that portray female Olympic athletes being seduced by the wonder that is watching a baby splash around in a tub, and minimizing their pre-motherhood athletic accomplishments. Now maybe there have been male athletes portrayed in this way, too (I doubt it) but if there have been, I haven't seen it. Feel free to correct me. Anyway, I half-heartedly tried to find some video evidence of this weird ad campaign (advertising parenthood, as if it's in any danger of being outmoded), and finding none, I gave up. I didn't want to work too hard on a post that was likely to be taken as a "boy do I hate kids" post anyway (I don't), because you know, if you don't have kids and you have the audacity to have an opinion on an institution as universally venerated* as parenthood you're likely offend people who have chosen to participate. I don't pretend to understand this. So, I gave up.

So anyway, I'm going to post her diatribe and maybe we'll have an interesting chat in the comments.

* Well, in theory, of course. Child care, equal pay, maternity/paternity leave, flextime, affordable health care, decent education, a healthy environment and a safe food supply? No. Sappy sentiment about how wonderful parenthood is, loads of opportunities to buy things and spend money and breathless reports of celebrity "baby bumps"? Well, yeah, sure!!

Ok, on to the post, which was apparently wine-inspired. Enjoy the Scottish-isms!

Working Moms

Well, here we go again – it’s the old 2 steps forward, 4 back in the world of modern feminism. No, I don’t mean the “becoming a lesbian and burning your bra” sort of feminism – I mean the simple unadulterated version that says…”Women should have equality in employment, education, healthcare, opportunities, etc” - the very basic - “we are people, flesh and blood” sort of things. Even if this fact is as evident to you as the nose on your face, there are STILL niggling doubts that rear their heads like pests, buzzing and stinging when society’s mood allows.

If you are wondering why I am so annoyed, I will tell you: I have recently become acutely aware of articles, essays, news reports, personal anecdotes from friends about the issue of Working Women. It seems we have not resolved this “crisis” and “problem”. According to a recent survey carried out over the past 3 decades by a Sociologist in Cambridge, there has been a steady rise in the number of people (British) who think that working women harm family life – inferring that the cause of all society’s modern ills (and there are many) is “the working mother”. Who is this crazy “working woman” and why is she so dangerous??

You are! Yes, YOU…that woman who garnered an education over many years and after many overzealous loans, who ploughed her way into many male-dominated industries, striving for some semblance of equality along the way. The woman who did all this and then said, “Hey, I also want a baby or 2 or 3”, took some time off to breast feed, and then descended back into the hell of the workplace, be it corporate or industrial. YOU are the source of many of society’s ills, for YOU decided to sacrifice your family/children upon the altar of personal satisfaction, to use your brain, to use your skills - not to mention to gain that pay cheque at the end of the week that helps sustain the fragile family bond.

What the hell is happening here?? Why do we continue to play this silly merri-go-round of doubt about what we should/should not do? How, in the year 2008, can we get harangued for doing what is a simple, undeniable human right…the right to WORK without fear of impunity of moral outrage. Occasionally I think there is not much left to fight about when it comes to “feminism” in the western world. But then, I see that 25% of the British public feel most women should be at home and I think…”Wait a goddamn minute. We’ve obviously got miles and miles to go.”

Here are some truths that I hold self-evident, if I can get up on my high horse – and yes, they will piss some people off for sure so here goes:

1) There is no such thing as the “female goddess”. We are flesh and blood, like a man, and even more importantly, we are mammals. We came into this world with ovaries to carry offspring and tits to give the young scamps succour – some women are more successful at this than others. We are not much different from a cat or a dog, really. The female of those species are programmed to do the same. Hence, the observation I would make about this is: having a baby is not a mind-altering, universe-halting operation – it is biological, plainly and simply. Get over it and stop acting like you need the world on a plate because you have chosen to conceive.
2) And to society (the world of work)…stop denigrating women who do decide to give birth by wringing your hands over having to juggle other people in your workplace to cover for this person. Oh boohoo, your poor overheads. Your business will not collapse!
3) The notion that a woman has to be at home, with her progeny, beyond the breast-feeding stage is a social construct….Do you understand that! It used to the preserve of the uber-wealthy, who of course had nannies and servants to do the dirty work. The rest of women simply got on with life and went back to their stale, carcinogenic factories to toil their lives away. Sure, they probably would have loved to lead the life of a middle-upper class lady, but hey, life’s a bitch and you are, more than nought, a product of your family background.
4) Children (babies included) are social beings – they like being around others. Sure, they need consistency and love, but they need to be with their own ilk just as much as they need to be read to by “mommy and daddy”. Let them FREE!! Put them in a nursery! They’ll probably turn out more well-rounded than nought.
5) Why is it always a woman’s role to be in the home? I mean, beyond the biological breastfeeding stage (if you so choose to go there), please tell me what it is that women can offer that a loving man cannot? Again, it comes down to consistency and love, irregardless of sex.
6) And finally, if you are a mother, and you do decide to stay at home, then FINE – just do it quietly without getting on some fake, moral high-horse.

What is my solution to this invasive, annoying conundrum that seems to keep rearing its ugly head? Well, I would say that there has to be a fundamental change in the way the modern workplace views working in general, for men and women.
1) Nine to Five is dead, flexi-time is the KING – it’s so much more conducive to productive happy workers
2) Give men some basic paternity rights!! Make them stay at home for a couple of months with baby (that’ll cure any unwanted pregnancies for sure)
3) JUST SIMPLY ACCEPT that women can work, they WILL work, the WANT to work and they SHOULD work and GET THE FUCK OVER IT!! And to women: Stop worrying so much about little dinkum’s development. A happy mommy means a happy dinkum!

Discuss at will.

Goals.

I've got five days of being geographically single this week, and several goals that I need to meet during that time.

1. Start and finish transcribing an episode of Deconstructing Dinner, and getting that to them.
2. Finish a letter and a couple of writing samples for a magazine.
3. Get a part time job doing something. Gee-awd, there must be something. Craigslist is full of thinly disguised Army and California Army National Guard jobs - it's sad. That and nitpicker jobs. Again, there must be something.
4. Figure out how to make Vivannos (looks pretty easy). I'm embarrassed to say that I am completely obsessed. Happily, I am also unable to eat a banana with even a spot of brown on it, so I have a freezer full of bananas that I planned to eventually make into banana bread. They will now serve an even higher purpose.
5. Make another bag.

Oh, and all the normal crap like walking the dog, dealing with errands, going running, working out, reading, listening to podcasts and trying to write now and again.

It might be time for a schedule, too (adding that to the list).

The reinscription of the culture industry is the discourse of the marginal.

J and I just had dinner and watched Charlie Wilson's War in the lounge on the carrier (he has the sooper doo-dee tonight). Now I want to walk around self importantly, zinging people with clever one-liners in a fabulous fake Texas accent.

That movie also makes a girl want to get naked, get in a hot tub with Tom Hanks and do a bunch of blow, and I can't say that's a combination I've ever thought about before.

Obama, my brother, and I'm up too early.

1. Just to clear things up, my brother (mentioned below) is a liberal. It wasn't a conversation with a right-winger that led to my raging, although that would have done it, too.

2. Last night we went to the Obama shindig mentioned in the comments below. The following is my report.

The event was sparsely attended - about 40 people were there, maybe, including the organizers and a couple of congressional candidates. J was the only person currently in the military in the room* - and for those of you who don't know him, there's no way to miss the fact that he's a military dude - his haircut and posture are as good as an ID card. We talked to the candidates, but no one else, really, because despite all the hand-wringing going on about the military needing this or that (all true) no one in the room seemed particularly interested in speaking with or getting to know anyone actually in or directly associated with the military. J and I spent most of the evening either talking to this dude or this dude, neither of whom are running in our district, or being bemused by the fact that we couldn't seem to get anyone interested in speaking with us. It was, just, well, odd. I mean, if I had organized this event, and I was concerned about how to do effective outreach to military families - which I specifically heard people talking about - I would maybe approach a couple I had never seen before, especially if it was bloody obvious they were, you know, a military family. J is the most social of butterflies, and even he couldn't make the smalltalk happen. I swear we showered.

Oh, and the HBO dudes were a no show.

So, overall, it was a strange and baffling evening, but hell, we contributed the $90 to get in and maybe the military coalition will be effective at the convention.

* I am basing this on appearances, and of course, women in the military don't have the giveaway haircuts. But those of you who are in the cult know that you get pretty good at knowing when fellow cult members are present.

Who knows?

News:

There's a slight, itsy-bitsy, nearly insignificant chance that we won't be going to Germany. If this unlikely turn of events happens, we'll be moving back to NorCal.

As much as I love Europe - and I've lived there twice before, so I know I love it - I would be relieved. In a few years, when we're lighter on pets (and, if things go right, free of student loan and other misc. debt) we could go with two paid off cars, a pile of money and without 5 pet crates.

Crossing my fingers?? Sort of?

Aaarrgghh - I can't un-see this

The link below will take you to the most irritating thing I have ever seen. If someone had put me in front of this as a kid, I would have killed them in their sleep. Go at your own risk, and if you really hate yourself, turn up the volume.

Link to intense irritation

A heartwarming collection of high-grade bullshit.

Inspired by an IM conversation with my politically liberal and terribly disgruntled brother:

America doesn't torture. 9-11 happened because of Iraq. Some violations of the law are not crimes. Violating the Geneva Conventions, international law and the US Constitution isn't illegal. "Traditional family" = "straight". "Sanctity of marriage" = blatant discrimination. In the 21st century, nations don't invade other nations. We support our troops. Abstinence-only sex education is working. The economy is thriving. Our food supply is safe. Republicans aren't homophobic. Everyone is equal under the law. It's ok to break the law if you are a big, politically connected corporation. In order to protect us, our government must have the right to spy on us. Using public office to make money is the American way. Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. Republicans support legislation that is good for women.

"War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength."

Enjoy your day.

Textbook Wheel is a ripoff.

Almost three months ago, I sent some textbooks to Textbook Wheel to get some cash back, and they never paid me for them. They say they never received them, but really, their Better Business Bureau report is enough to make you believe that the USPS never manages to get a package delivered. So yeah, I don't believe them.

I once posted a rant about my horrible experience with Sears hoping that I'd save some random people the pain of dealing with the shit sandwich that is Sears. Now I'd like to save some unknown person the experience of sending $178 worth of books to a company who isn't likely to pay.

If you're here based on a Google search, and you're considering sending some books to Textbook Wheel, my advice is: DON'T.

If they eventually pay me, I will update and eat some crow, but hell, it's been 3 months. I'm not optimistic.

Would it be wrong to hope that this guy gets taken out by a meteorite?

Here I was thinking that I didn't have much to say this morning, and then I saw this bit of craptasticness:



Hopefully idiots like this one also rely on god to deliver them the election results they want to see without taking things into their own hands by VOTING.

(And really, those letters on the side of the ball field behind him couldn't be larger or more fucking obvious.)

via Wonkette